RHW Remembrances by James Retter of Ware, Fressola

Bob went to lunch with us almost every day, we had a lot of good times, and he was usually our driver. Like creatures of habit, we went to the Diner on Monday and Friday, Sal's on Tuesday, Leo's (now Kings) on Wednesday, and left ourselves one free choice on Thursday. Bob was on autopilot behind the wheel and dutifully got us safely too and from our lunch destination with a car full of his patent attorney cargo.

On a typical Monday or Friday, it would be 4, 5 or 6 of us gathered around a lunch table at the Diner sharing laughter and chatter discussing sports, politics, happenings at the firm, new changes in the law, etc.

On many occasions some unexpected hysteria would erupt. For example, after having a nice meal and receiving the check, we had some occasions where we all would simultaneously began to put money into and take change out of the lunch pot in the center of the table in a way that was feverish. Typically, everybody owed $5-8 with tax and tip. Simultaneously, a first guy might put in a $10, a second guy might put in a $20, a third guy might put in two $5s, while a fourth guy might put in a $5 and some $1s. Then there would be an initial mad scramble for change with the second guy maybe taking the first guy's $10; the first guy maybe taking the fourth guy's singles before the second guy could get to them, who was just finishing up grabbing the first guy's $10. At the same time, a fifth guy might be putting in a $5 and a couple $1s, and a sixth guy might be putting in another $20, and the mad scrabble for change would continue. There were wallets, money and hands all over the table. It was a free-for-all. You get the picture. The process many times was actually quite funny to watch, especially if you got in and out quickly. Bob was typically in the mix vying strategically for the right opportunity to get in and to get out.

But what was even funnier, was that on more than one occasion, when the dust finally settled, and money was counted up, the lunch pot might be short by about $10. For example, more than likely some guy might have innocently put in a $10, and maybe took change for a $20. When these situations arose, we would typically poll everybody around the table, and after everybody swore that they put in the correct amount, we would erupt in laughter at how much conviction we each all had of being right on the change count, despite the fact that one of us was clearly wrong. After the laughter subsided, and further contributions were made to cover the deficit, we would hop back into Bob's car, and go back to the firm to work after sharing a nice lunch and a good belly laugh.

Posted by AAF

Visiting the Southwest

In 2000, we had a family trip to Mesa Verde National Park in the Four Corners area. The park has centuries-old archeological remains of cliff dwellings of the Ancestral Puebloans who inhabited the region long before Europeans showed up. People on the trip were my parents, my sister Martha (who lived in Colorado at the time), and myself.

My dad was keenly interested in history of all kinds, and when he mentioned the possibility of seeing these remains I was enthralled. Big kudos go to Martha for putting together the logistics and making everything run smoothly.

Bob's obituary

Robert H. Ware, Jr., age 81 of Fairfield, beloved husband of Lois C. Ware for 55 years, died Friday, January 23, 2009 at Brigham & Women's Hospital in Boston. A role model, mentor, and teacher, Bob will be sorely missed by his family and by all who knew him. Born in Kansas City, Mo., he was the son of Robert Hayden Ware and Winifred Wilson Ware, grew up in Ann Arbor, Mich., and attended The University of Michigan School of Engineering. He served in the Navy in World War II, entered the Harvard Graduate School of Engineering, and transferred to the Law School, graduating in 1951. Bob did five years of patent litigation in the Manhattan firm Fish, Richardson and Neave, then joined Blair and Buckles in Stamford. He opened his Danbury office in partnership with D. Lewis Mattern. The firm became Mattern, Ware and Davis in Bridgeport, moved to Fairfield, as Mattern, Ware, and Fressola, and became Ware, Fressola, Van der Sluys and Adolphson, then moved to Monroe. Bob retired in 2004. The father of four, Richard, William, Robert and Martha, Bob took the family sailing and tent camping in the Northeast. A Committee member of Boy Scout Troop 90, he drove the boys and attended many troop weekend campouts and summer weeks at camp, taught merit badges and had one son earn the Eagle rank and another Life scout. All three sons are engineers, Martha is an illustrator and designer. For 25 years Bob enjoyed sailing his Venture 24, "Spring Tide", on Long Island Sound. He also enjoyed reading and history. Bob was a past commander of Housatonic Power Squadron and life member of Penfield. He taught Seamanship, Celestial Navigation, Weather, and other courses. A Rotary Club youth exchange chairman, Bob hosted students from many countries in his home. Survivors include his wife, Lois; three sons and a daughter and their families, Richard and Marian and their children, of Amherst, Mass., William of Framingham, Mass., Robert, and Anja and their children of Dayton, Ohio, Martha and her son of Medford, Mass.; a sister-in-law, Priscilla Close and her husband, Lawrence and their children, Suzanne Findlay of Anchorage, AK, Amy Nagy of Fairfield and Matthew Close of Brookfield. A memorial service will be held 11 a.m., Friday, February 6, 2009 at Trinity Episcopal Church, Southport. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the charity of your choice.
Published in the Connecticut Post on 2/1/2009.